im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
50% drunk capacity currently
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
