marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
