apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
