Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
