The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize