yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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