So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
