Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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