I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
