the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
