he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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