let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
did i walk over a car last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
