Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
