I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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