ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize