just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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