dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
