hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
4 words: hood of his car
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
