What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
