in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
