Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
