I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
