I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
