We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
