Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
