May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
