He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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