He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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