Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
