Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
