thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
