It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
