I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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