i need an iv and a liver transplant
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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