loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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