Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
