The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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