I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
