We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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