But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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