bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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