I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
