Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
