now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
