dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
