he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
