nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize