Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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