Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We need to feng shui this bitch.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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