And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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