Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
