In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
