i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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