So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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