He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
