He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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