why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
