I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize