Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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