and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
