doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
